you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
