I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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