I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
