I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
