honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
