i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
