i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
