Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize