Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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