So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He felt like a one man threesome
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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