Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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