so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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