Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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