put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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