So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize