In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
