There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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