That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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