i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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