I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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