It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
