with your own penis?
need another drink. this is the easiest way
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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