Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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