If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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