hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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