i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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