he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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