So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
