Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
