...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just found puke in my bra..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
