I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
