i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
