i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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