just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
