Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
