i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
