bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
