i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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