So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
id be glad to
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
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I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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