A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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