He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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