Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I could fuck to npr.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
