I want to have your abortion
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
