u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
