I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize