i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
