I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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