bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.