Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm

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(240): View more from Maryland

Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.

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(256): View more from Alabama

There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen

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(630): View more from Illinois

Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

did you know it's going to storm tonight?

(630): View more from Illinois

You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone

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(251): View more from Alabama

if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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(247): View more from

Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.

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(513): View more from Ohio

You need Xanax blowdarts

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(330): View more from Ohio

There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.

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