Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
