A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
we're so committed to being not committed
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
