there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
