He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
