Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
