Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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