So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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