I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
