yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
