take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
