id be glad to
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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