Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
