the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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