Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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