I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
